2013 · a reflection

what a crazy, eventful year.

it never ceases to amaze me how quickly time passes.

in honor of today, here's a little reflection on what this year has held for me.

· january - march · 

in january i flew home to north dakota for a quick trip to speak at my home church (first time as a 'guest missionary speaker'!) and to visit family and friends. once back in austin, i rejoined my ywam team in the midst of their 2 month austin outreach. my role in ywam was not to lead & help with the outreach as it was for the other staff, but i could join them when my schedule allowed. this was a sweet time of growing friendships, and blessing this city i have come to love. january was also when i joined a local anti trafficking ministry & started going with a team into massage parlors (that have enough evidence to suggest they are functioning as brothels) to build friendships with the ladies. february and march were more of the same... outreach, exploring this lovely city, enjoying a non North Dakotan winter :)

· april - may · 

april brought with it the return of my lovely man, who had been in the philippines on outreach for four months. when he left in december, we were just very close friends. our romantic relationship bloomed and grew fast, while we were a whole 8,000+ miles apart. we were overjoyed to be reunited & spent much of our time enjoying each others company & deepening our friendship. in may we made the decision to step back from ywam, as we felt God was leading us out.

· june - july · 

nicholas proposed! our engagement was the beginning of some wild, whirlwind next few months. we got engaged on the 3rd of june, and scrambled to nail down a wedding date, bridal party, and location before we left on june 13th for a 6 week trip. our first 2 weeks were spent in north dakota and montana, where nicholas was introduced to my family & friends & the beauty of the north :) 

our next stop was chicago, where we met up with some ministry friends & had some good, quality weeks of praying into what the future looked like for us, and we even squeezed in some siteseeing of this pretty city.

our trip was cut 2 weeks short when nicholas started to experience some crazy wisdom teeth pain. in order to not cut it so close to the wedding date, we heading back to austin so he could have them removed. we took a 28 hr train ride, filled with beautiful scenery (see below) good conversation, and even a bit of sleep. 

· august · 

like i said, our engagement was the beginning of some crazy, whirlwind months. our engagement was 11 weeks long. We spent 4 or so of those weeks traveling, and nicholas's wisdom teeth removal recovery was followed by a completely horrible 2 or 3 week (i cant even remember) sickness. so, needless to say, I am a bit amazed our wedding all came together & that the busyness and stress didn't do me in :) God is good and His hand was allll over our wedding day.

8.17.13

· september - december · 

september brought with it some huge changes. our ministry partners changed plans and we had to take a big step back and reevaluate everything - our current plan, future plans, etc. we felt like God was saying to focus in on our brand new relationship, and to get jobs while we pray into whats next. we both got jobs we enjoy, which is a big blessing. i'm still going to brothel outreach [nicholas comes with now! as my teams driver/protector if needed, since guys do not go in with us] and we are still standing firmly in what we know to be true - that God's love for the nations is overflowing in our hearts and we will be taking steps towards a life in long term missions, however that may look, as we feel Him guiding us.

in november we took a 2 week trip up north, first to minnesota to celebrate a friends marriage, and then to celebrate our marriage with friends and family back home. 

our first christmas as husband and wife :) nicholas is rockin' his fez, showing his love for doctor who 

[we're proud nerds]

another big highlight of the year was seeing Trans-Siberian Orchestra live. my parents gifted us with tickets for Christmas and it was truly amazing. it was my 3rd time, and Nicholas's first. if you get the chance, SEE THEM!

i could go on and on about the lessons, the hardships, the immense joy this year has held, but i would be writing forever! however, i do want to say this..

· my savior is so good ·
growing up as a christian, i thought i had a pretty good grip on who Jesus is, what He did, and so on... this year has been one of throwing pre conceived beliefs and misconceptions i held as truth, to the ground. i encourage you to face the simple questions, 'do i really believe the creator of the WORLD, loves me? do i live like a child of the king? do i actually believe i am forgiven and free, or do i live holding my shame above my head, subconsciously refusing to take Him at His word and partake of His grace?' I could go on and on. this has been a year of asking myself those simple, but somehow tough questions. we are so quick to say 'yeah, of course I know God loves me!' or we have all these songs and quotes and statements we make about how free we are and how thankful we are for grace, but really... are we truly living like we believe that? (i know i certainly don't) are we living as free, powerful, sons and daughters of God? as one who has authority and carries light? as people who have been given all we need through His death - the power to be free from sin by his blood, the power to manifest Jesus to the world? or do we live as sinners, constantly reminding ourselves of our failures and mistakes, like we think it somehow makes us noble or humble in God's eyes? as people who are frozen in fear over evil in the world, forgetting we have a relationship with the One who conquered it all? i have been blown away this year just by pondering these thoughts and realizing how much i don't believe, or how much i might believe the wrong thing. I am learning to seek out His truth & take Him at His word, and to not so quickly answer the simple questions, but to ponder what i really, really believe about my Beautiful Savior. as john 8:32 puts it - the truth sets us free!

i could go on, and on, and on. so let me just sum everything up with this...

WHAT A YEAR! 

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 

1 Peter 1:6-8